Love Me, Cherish my Soul
by CrimsonFlowerz
Summary: Nikolai has never fallen so hard for something he can't have.
1. I Can Never

**~*† I can never.... †*~**

_By Alex K._

_For/Inspired By: Shadowblade & Zeke from "Warrior World"_

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"Nikolai."

Nikolai hit his fist against the wall by Dmitri's head.

"I know! Dmitri…"

Nikolai sighed deeply and leaned in towards Dmitri, looking harshly at him.

"But I can't…"

"You can Nikolai. You have to."

"But I can't because I won't know what to do without you." He laughed slightly.

"I'll be too busy missing you to think straight."

Dmitri looked at Nikolai sympathetically. He took in a breath and gently pushed Nikolai's arm away that had been trapping him from moving. He walked a little ways away, his arms crossed.

"See? You're away from me now."

Dmitri said, to afraid to look him in the eyes again.

"I can still see you idiot!"

Nikolai shouted at him.

"I can't do this. I need fresh air."

Nikolai demanded and walked out the front door. Dmitri watched him go.

"It'll be hard for both of us Nikolai. I know you've only got me close. You'll make friends. I can see it."

Dmitri sighed and walked over to the front door. 'Open it.' He told himself. 'But why should I? Seeing his face while I do it will make me have cold feet an stay.' He argued with himself. He finally argued with himself enough to get outside. He walked up to Nikolai who was holding a cigarette to him mouth. He was looking out into the rain. He didn't notice Dmitri until he tapped his shoulder. Nikolai dropped his cigarette and stepped on it. He turned to Dmitri.

"Please Dmitri. I know I may have been a jerk to you. But that's me. Are you leaving because of me? I'll miss you. You're all I have now. I don't want to lose that."

Dmitri understood. He didn't want to go through with it either.

"I wish there was another way." Nikolai whispered. Dmitri looked in his eyes and Nikolai looked back. Nikolai touched Dmitri's cheek gently and Dmitri relaxed. Nikolai leaned to him and his lips brushed Dmitri's. Dmitri was caught off guard. He pushed Nikolai away and looked at him.

"What was that?!"

He asked a little surprised. 'I don't like him like that!' He yelled at himself in his head. Nikolai looked embarrassed.

"Sorry."

He looked away. He took out a cigarette and held it to him mouth. He lit the cigarette and continued to look out to the rain.

"I'm sorry."

Nikolai whispered.

"I just- I- Nevermind…"

Dmitri shook his head and ran back inside. He ran up stairs and to his bedroom. He took in the calming scent and music. He sat on the edge of his bed.

"Nikolai…"

Dmitri looked around his room until his eyes landed on his suitcase. His forehead wrinkled in distaste.

"Why?"

He walked over and kicked his suitcase. It slide a little away and revealed a painting. He looked at the painting and sighed.

"That's why…"

The painting was of two people. One was holding an umbrella with the other leaning on him. The other was covered in blood and his hair was covering his face. The one with the umbrella was crying. Dmitri couldn't make out who they were. But the one with the umbrella had hair like him and the one covered in blood look similar to Nikolai. Dmitri shook his head.

"He will never die like that. I won't let it happen."

Thoughts of their kiss flashed through his mind. He almost still felt it on his lips. He touched his lips and sighed, 'he might actually want to.' 'No. Not when he's leaving.' 'But, maybe.' 'No. Stop thinking Dmitri. Stop thinking that.' 'But, maybe I want to.' Dmitri argued with himself. One half of him liked what Nikolai did. The other side was disgusted and glad to leave. But the other half hurt, thinking about leaving.

"Why did you kiss me Nikolai?"

**Meanwhile**

Nikolai looked at his pack of cigarettes and threw them across the street absentmindedly. He stomped his foot and looked around for something to hit.

"Why did I do that?! I should have obviously seen his face!!!"

Nikolai yelled at himself.

"Now he's going to want to leave more than before!!!!"

Nikolai steamed off then stepped into the rain. He let it hit his skin and calm him. He sighed as water dripped down his face. He looked up from his position to see a blue haired man with red eyes. Nikolai's eyes were cold glares. He hated anyone right now. He would hurt anyone right now. He was too mad. He's wasn't in the mood to be bossed around by some higher rank.

"Nikolai. You okay?"

"NO! I'M NOT OKAY!! CAN'T YOU GOD DAMN SEE THAT?!!!"

Nikolai shouted at the man, standing up straight.

"Nikolai. You don't have to yell. I know."

Nikolai shook his head.

"You… You know nothing! NOTHING!"

The blue haired man's eyes widened.

"Sorry. I just wanted to know-"

"Everything."

Nikolai cut him off. He looked up at the sky.

"I only have Dmitri and he won't tell me anything. Everything's always a secret with him…"

"You didn't. No, He's not mad."

"I kissed him! He's definitely mad!"

"I know he isn't. I can see him now. Go talk to him."

"Why should I trust you?"

The blue haired man smirked and looked at Nikolai solemnly.

"I'm on your side. I'm your friend."

Nikolai looked to him.

"Thanks Noctis. But you're not my friend."

Nikolai smirked. Noctis looked to him confused. Nikolai just grinned and turned away towards the door of Dmitri's house waving. Noctis shook his head.

"I'll never understand him."

Noctis said before vanishing. Nikolai opened the door to Dmitri's house. He stripped his jacket and boots. He walked quietly up stairs. His clothes were damp, but not too wet. He sat on one side of Dmitri's bed. Dmitri was lying awake, facing away from Nikolai. He patted Dmitri's shoulder.

"Dmitri, hey, I want to talk to you."

Dmitri rolled over to look at Nikolai.

"Yes."

Nikolai laughed a bit.

"Sit up please? And stop making that face."

Dmitri had a straight face on and he looked a little annoyed.

"Sorry. I was arguing with myself."

Dmitri explained, sitting up.

"Dmitri. I wanted to talk to you about-"

"The kiss."

"Well…That. And why you're, doing what you're doing."

Dmitri blushed.

"How bout we talk about why you're leaving first?"

Nikolai suggested.

"I will not tell you…"

He glanced to his bag that had been replaced in front of the painting.

"Why?"

Nikolai demanded. Dmitri looked past Nikolai to his suitcase.

"I can't. You'll hurt her."

"Hurt who?"

Nikolai was getting pissed. Why won't Dmitri tell him?! It was important. Dmitri put his hands to Nikolai's chest as if to push him away. Nikolai grabbed Dmitri's wrists gently.

"Who? I won't hurt anyone. Is someone making you leave me?"

Dmitri bit his lip and tried to get his wrists free.

"She told me not to tell you. She's not making me leave. I chose it myself!"

Dmitri shouted at Nikolai.

"Let…Let go! Let go…L- Nikolai….please."

Dmitri quit struggling and sniffed pathetically. He blushed and looked away. Nikolai looked at Dmitri confused.

"I don't understand. Why won't you tell me?"

Nikolai whispered.

"I won't tell you because I don't want to see this outcome. Please don't make me tell you."

Dmitri calmed down quickly but the blush remained on his face. Nikolai held Dmitri's wrists to the bed with one hand and placed his other hand under Dmitri's chin. He brought his face to Dmitri's and kissed him again. Dmitri struggled a bit, but Nikolai held him firmly. Dmitri quit struggling and Nikolai and Dmitri both lost balance and fell to the bed. Nikolai stopped the kiss to see Dmitri lying under him. Dmitri's face turned a bright red and he squirmed out from under Nikolai. Nikolai sat up again.

"That wasn't awkward…"

"YES IT WAS!"

Dmitri yelled at Nikolai's attempt to set right of the situation.

"Stop it."

Dmitri pouted.

"Stop what?"

"Kissing me."

"But Dmitri! I didn't mean it! I fell."

"Yeah. You 'Fell'."

"I'm serious!"

"So am I!"

"Are you still leaving?"

"Why wouldn't I?!"

"You still didn't tell me!"

"I don't care!"

"Just once?"

"Once what?"

Nikolai pointed at Dmitri, and then pointed at himself. Then made a heart shape with his fingers.

"N- No. There's no way in hell I'm doing that with you, ever probably."

"Please?"

"No"

"Pretty Please?!"

"Never Nikolai."

"But DMITRI!!!!!"

"Nope, No, Never, Nuh-uh!"

"Don't make me."

"Make you wha---no!"

Dmitri stood and ran to the door but Nikolai was faster. He appeared in front of him, blocking the door. He leaned toward Dmitri and smirked.

"What's wrong Dmitri, you look tense. Mind if I, give you a massage? Or maybe you should lie down?"

"No, stop it Nikolai! This isn't a game!"

Dmitri tried to push Nikolai away from the door, but Nikolai caught his wrists again.

"Are you sure? If you're leaving, wouldn't it not make a difference? Wouldn't you want to break my heart further? Wouldn't you want to go after tonight and never see me again?"

"Tonight's never going to happen Nikolai!"

Dmitri yelled but backed a few paces.

Nikolai held Dmitri's wrists with one hand and touched his cheek. Dmitri pushed against Nikolai and cried out for him to step away. Nikolai leaned to look at him.

"I love you, and I don't want you to go. What can I do?"

Dmitri backed up and the back of his knee's hit the bed. He fell to the bed and Nikolai didn't fall with him this time. Nikolai stripped his shirt to show pale skin, and slightly toned muscles. He kneeled against the side of the bed and straddled Dmitri's hips, leaning over him. Dmitri gasped, his hands were free. He pushed hard against Nikolai's bare chest. Nikolai didn't budge. He took Dmitri's hands and pinned them to the bed with one hand.

"St- Stop it! I won't—I won't be happy! Don't you care?!"

Nikolai just smirked.

"I'm not happy. That's why I'm doing this."

Dmitri tried to speak again, but Nikolai captured his lips in a passionate kiss. Dmitri struggled but his body had other plans. He suddenly relaxed and he started to argue with his conscious.

'Stop that!' He yelled at his inner self

'YOU want him! I know it! Don't throw it away!' His Inner Self argued back.

Dmitri moaned when Nikolai ran his tongue along his lips, begging for entrance.

'Stop this!' Dmitri yelled at his I.S.

'You need to accept SOME things! And he's an important thing in your life.' His I.S. argued at Dmitri.

Dmitri groaned at Nikolai's hand trailing up his shirt. When their kiss broke, Dmitri was panting. Nikolai stripped Dmitri of his shirt. Nikolai leaned to Dmitri's ear.

"I love you. Let me show it."

Dmitri bites his lip and he felt drunk on Nikolai's kiss. He sighed and shook his head.

"No…This is wrong…"

Dmitri barley managed.

"Let me."

Nikolai whispered and his hand trailed over Dmitri's torso gently. Dmitri didn't struggle. He sighed.

"Just don't hurt me."

Nikolai smiled sweetly and kissed Dmitri again. Dmitri hesitated before kissing back.

Everything went fast after that. Dmitri wrapped his arms around Nikolai's neck and his legs around Nikolai's waist. They said each other's name to each other just to hear the other's voice. Dmitri felt as if a great weight lifted off his heart. Afterwards, Dmitri fell asleep in Nikolai's arms.

"But I still have to leave."

He whispered to himself.

End Chapter One


	2. Love me, Cherish my soul

~*† I can never.... †*~

Chapter II: Cherish me, Love my Soul

Dmitri walked along the side of the highway. His clothes soaked, his heart sunk. He looked forward with his raincoat and bag with the painting in it. He had been able to escape Nikolai while Nikolai was still sleeping.

"Last night should have never happened Nikolai…"

~*~

Nikolai stretched in bed and looked to his side to see an empty space, once occupied by Dmitri. He sat up and yawned.

"He already left…"

Nikolai looked around the room.

"All his stuff is gone."

Nikolai got up and threw on some random robe he saw, and made his way to the kitchen. He looked around and opened the fridge. He soon closed the fridge, losing his appetite thinking of Dmitri.

"Why'd you leave stupid?"

He sighed deeply.

"I love you. I tried to hang on."

He felt like his most precious object was stolen. He felt as if that object was just in his reach, he caught, but dropped it! Someone caught it and walked off with it, and now he's left to cry inside.

He looked around and went to lie on the couch. He curled up on the couch.

"I miss him already."

*~*

Dmitri knocked on a door. The door was a large black mansion-like door with gold trim and silver knockers. The door opened widely and a girl stood in the doorway.

"I know why you come."

"Then why?!"

Dmitri yelled and he and grabbed the picture from his bag and shoved it at her. She caught it with ease. Dmitri looked at her.

"I don't want to hurt you. I just want to know why you gave me that death wish!"

She looked around then motioned for him to come in. Once they were settled inside, she put the painting besides her leaning against the chair she sat in.

"Dmitri, this painting is of you an-"

"Nikolai. Right?"

"Unfortunately."

"That's why I left. To protect him."

"You're only driving him to this conclusion."

"What? So you gave me this painting thinking after I see it I'll leave and this will surely happen?!"

"Exactly. But as I've told you before, I have no control over my paintings."

"You must understand."

Dmitri stood up.

"I- I let him…"

"I...know."

"Now he's going to really want to hurt himself….And it will be all my fault."

"There is a way…to avoid it."

"What?"

Dmitri looked up hopefully. The girl looked at the floor.

"If I see anything, I'll paint it. But you could travel back and keep him from doing anything stupid?"

"Anything else? I don't want to go back just yet."

'WHY? You love him jerk!'

His Inner Self yelled.

He ignored it.

"Anything else you'll have to think of. I'm not helping you any further."

"What?! Why?!"

"I can't. Go, before it's too late."

She ushered him out the door with the painting. He looked around and placed the painting back in his bag.

"I'll be on my way then…Knowing Nikolai, he'll probably be in some random fight…"

*~*

Nikolai walked into the shower. He let the water run nicely over his body.

"Dmitri…"

He sighed half-heartedly.

He heard someone at the door. Who was it? He wasn't expecting company… He dried his hair and pulled on some random sweat shirt and shorts. He let his hair air-dry and went to the door. He opened the door.

"Who—"

"Come with me."

The person grabbed his hand and pulled him outside. It was raining, and he was getting wet. Why was he letting this person pull him through the rain? He didn't even know them! Nikolai yanked his arm away.

"Hey! Who are you?!"

He stepped back and looked at the person. They were female, very beautiful with short, blonde hair. Their eyes were goldish colored and they wore a white dress and a black raincoat.

"My name is Misa. Come with me and I'll explain everything." She grabbed his arm again and this time he let her lead him. They soon got down an alley way and into a door. Inside was a hidden bar. He'd been to many bars but this was different. It was, decent. Smoke didn't crowd the ceiling; drunken guys/girls didn't loop around every corner. He let her lead him to an empty table.

"I know your situation. I'm a demon. An Erie Demon, of Lightning."

"Okay…"

"I've been ordered to assist you at all costs…"

A man kicked a door open at the other side of the bar.

"I'm looking for someone named, Nikolai…" The man stated with a frown. He was tall with medium length silver hair.

"Who's that?" Nikolai asked out of curiosity.

"That's Ichiru…Zero's Brother. He's a vampire. I don't know why he's after you but he doesn't seem happy…" Misa said.

But there was soon a gun at the side of his head. Misa backed, a little surprised.

"Found you…" Ichiru said with a smirk

Nikolai's eyes widened as he felt the cold, hard metal against a sensitive place above his left ear.

"How're you gonna escape this one? Demon…"

Nikolai ducked as he heard gun fire. He kicked out his feet and tripped Ichiru. Ichiru fell and Nikolai ran out the door and as fast as he could to the road. He looked around. Everything was quiet….for now…

*

Dmitri ran through a thick crowd and ran up to random people asking where the nearest train was… When he finally found a decent one he stood in line to obtain a ticket.

"Nikolai doesn't need me....I mean....it's probably because of m—"

** "Remember then??" His IS nearly screamed. **

"Oh no…" He changed his mind suddenly. He ran out of line and to the nearest taxi.

"Hey! HEY! STOP!"

The taxi skidded to a stop to let him in. He got in and handed the driver some money.

"Third house from the entrance of *Hilton Heights', pronto!"

The driver sped along…

*

Nikolai ran up the street to the house. He stopped in front of the door because someone fired bullets at the steps he was standing on. The steps collapsed and he fell. He was stuck in a hole in the steps.

"Shit…" He cursed.

A bullet fired and implanted in his shoulder. He screamed.

"You can't run away. Why don't you die in your boyfriends arms…"

Ichiru snarled. Ichiru yanked Nikolai out of the steps, by the collar. Ichiru threw him into the street. He fired another bullet that hit into Nikolai's leg. Nikolai gasped.

"Why- Do you want to—kill, ME?!"

Nikolai stood warily.

"Because you demons do nothing. Because you demons fight, and quarrel, and kill over the tiniest things. You demons don't deserve to live amongst vampires, and humans, and other species. All you do is create death. Now I should thank you, because death helps a society grow. But I won't, you know why? I hate Demons. Demons killed my family. Well, as I was taught. A pureblood bit my brother and I but she acted like a demon at that moment. No mercy. Is that your motto?" Ichiru growled and walked up to Nikolai. He threw a punch but Nikolai dodged.

"Not all demons are the same!"

Nikolai yelled.

"Then why-" Ichiru threw another punch, and again, Nikolai dodged.

"Do you all-"

Ichiru took out his gun and pointed it at Nikolai's forehead.

"Do the same."

A taxi pulled up and Dmitri began to run up to them. Ichiru turned to Dmitri and fired. Dmitri screamed and fell to the ground. The taxi sped away. Nikolai clawed Ichiru's face and grabbed his gun, throwing it across the street. He threw Ichiru near the gun and Ichiru didn't get up. Nikolai dashed to Dmitri's side.

"Dmitri! Dmitri!" Nikolai cried. He picked up Dmitri and held him close to his chest. Dmitri looked at Nikolai.

"I avoided it…"

"Avoided what? Dmitri…"

"Your death…"

Nikolai began to cry as Dmitri closed his eyes.

"DMITRI!"

~* End/Chapter2*~

*Hilton Heights'= random name/location


End file.
